Genjo Sanzo hosts Nick Junior!
by Neko-Gal
Summary: What would happen if everyone's favorite corrupted monk was to host a Preschoolers' show? Complete Chaos, that's what! You'll be seein' "Face", the original host, the shows, such as "Dora the explorer, and "Blue's Clues"! There are a lot more! Chapter one


"Genjo Sanzo hosts Nick Junior!"

Written by: Neko Gal

Genre: Parody and Humor!

Category: Gensomaden Saiyuki

Chapter one: The new host!

**Warning: **This lil' Authoress has been sugar-high lately, so this fic is pretty insane. Swear words and animated blood are included in this fic. Parental Guidance. (Even though the writer is only twelve. _Sweatdrops. _My swear word influence is from none other than… My best friend, "aurablack"!)

From the hyperactive Authoress who brought you "Rather"! She changed her name, her old alias used to be 'Misty Cornwell', until now…  The now twelve-year-old Neko Gal now decides to torture, er, write about the cast of Gensomaden Saiyuki, clashed with the overly annoying shows of Nick Junior, in this original, (I don't think anyone had this idea before…) and wacky new Fanfiction, "Genjo Sanzo hosts Nick Junior!" I wonder if Sanzo can tolerate what lies ahead… **No flames!!!** (I'm just a lil' kid! _Sniff, sniff._)  **CLICK ON THE TEXT SIZE + IF YOU THINK THE WORDS ARE TOO SMALL!**

**Disclaimer:  **I do not own _Saiyuki_, _Nick Junior_, or _Mokona_. I don't own those Nickelodeon characters, either. In fact, Iya-chan only owns _Taiyo no Megami_, which is an original series, a Trilogy to be specific, and it's a manga and novel, which I am incredibly proud of. (Taiyo no MegamiÓ Iya-chan and Chiara-chan. All rights reserved, and if you steal the title or idea, I will hunt you down!!! –Iya-chan the Judo, Boxing, and Aikido girl.)   

"So this is the Nickelodeon studio…" Son Goku mused. "Why d'ya have to drag _us _along to this Kiddie studio?" Sa Gojyo whined, flailing his arms about and scowling at the adolescent girl. "Eh, I don't wanna go alone, and besides, I'd like to see you guys tolerate those Nickelodeon characters!" Iya-chan beamed. "It's not all that bad…" Cho Hakkai grinned, petting his pet Dragon, Hakuryu. "Not bad, then why did you have to bring _them_?" Gojyo skeptically pointed at Kougaiji and his party. "Well, more people makes it more fun!" Iya-chan affirmed, glomping Lilin. They all looked at their surroundings. The place looked like any other studio. The actors were there too. Arnold of "Hey Arnold!" fame was eating a donut, Eliza Thornberry was talking to a dung beetle, and Tommy Pickles was playing with his "Reptar" plush toy. There were many others too, but saying them all will take too long. "Holy shit." The quiet Sanzo finally spoke up. "Such a lame excuse for two dimensional characters!" Kougaiji said through gritted teeth. Lilin was trying to pry Iya-chan's arms; both hugged around her waist like a little brat, off her but to no avail. "Miss, would you kindly let go of Lilin-sama?" Yaone inquired Iya politely, putting her hand on Iya-chan's shoulder. "No can do, Yaone-san!" Iya grinned cheerily, not budging from her position. "So what do we do now, kid?" Dokaguji furrowed his brow. Iya snickered. "We'll watch the airing of Nick Jr.!" She finally let go of Lilin and pirouetted around in an eager manner. "Yay!" Lilin and Goku followed the gesture. "Oh well. At least they're happy." Hakkai said reassuringly. "Heh. I don't think our favorite corrupted monk will enjoy it." Gojyo smirked, lighting a cigar. "Urusai!" Sanzo retorted, pointing his revolver directly at the Horny water monster's cranium. "Okay, okay. Don't need to be so cranky!" Gojyo said hastily, tapping the gun away from his head. 

"Here we are! Sit down, hayaku!" Iya-chan linked her arm with Lilin, who was a head taller, and they all sat down, anticipating the Nick Junior show. "Sorry I'm late." A new voice from behind them spoke. Homura and his two companions just entered the studio and were making their way to them. "Where are all the seats?" Zeon scanned the area, which was crowded with middle-aged people trying to get ahold of the inner-child. "The only seats available are behind an overweight woman…" Their other companion, Shien stated calmly, pointing to chairs behind an obese female sitting down, who was clad in an ugly pink dress. "Oh, boy… This is goin' to be a _long_ day!" Zeon sighed, running his hand through his auburn tresses.       

"Aw, f*ck! I can't see anythin'!" Zeon swore, trying to peer at the stage. "Well, it hasn't even started, you doof!" Lilin exclaimed from the front row. "But we have an _elephant _right in front of us!" The annoying Zeon muttered on and on, on how large the woman sitting in front of them was. Suddenly, a portly man toddled up to the stage with some intricacy. "Ahem. Gentlemans and Lady, we is proud to presenting show the Nick Junior." He coughed into the microphone. Obviously, he wasn't a fluent English speaker. "So we is now filming show, and please be giving the welcome warm to Mr. Face." He concluded and walked off the stage, leaving the viewers to mutter about his appalling grammar. Immediately after that, an outsized… Er… rectangle box with a smiley face on it went on the stage. It was cerulean. "Hi, there." It spoke. "Face here. And you're watching… Nick Junior!" Then it made a sickly horn sound. Sanzo, for some reason, was going berserk by just looking at the blue box. He clenched his fists and gritted his teeth. "Oi, Sanzo! I'm hungry!" Goku whimpered, making the corrupted monk even angrier. "Do you know what a fish sounds like? _Gurgle, gurgle._" Face was now starting to make some irksome animal sounds, that thoroughly irritated Kouryu, and he was about to shoot that damn box! "Hey, Baldie Sanzo! You okay?" Lilin and the younger girl Iya shrieked in his ear simultaneously. 

He was now totally berserk. "Argh!!! Urusai!" He shouted and shot the blue square known as "Face." Blood spurted out of the rectangular creature, as it moaned in pain. "Ahh! I'm dying! Dying!" Face screamed, no more smile plastered on his… Er… face. (^-^; Okay… Good goin', Iya-chan.) Sanzo shot another bullet. Bang! It went right through Face's middle, spewing out more blood, and some anatomy. (I guess Chiara-chan a.k.a. my Best friend influenced to me her sadistic, and "sick" ways. _Sweatdrops_) The blood spilled on all the audience, who were ever ready to leave the studio. Sanzo's party, together with Iya-chan, Homura and Kougaiji's parties were gazing in amusement at the persecution of the rectangle known as "Face." "Sanzo was never _this _pissed off since the time I dumped his cigarettes in the toilet." Goku stared at the barmy cleric, shooting the guts out of face. "You can say that again, Monkey Boy." Iya-chan affirmed, gawking as well. 

~Later~ 

"So under law, you is having to been the host of the show until next week, until we get host new. And furthermore, you are be in every program, act along with characters." The stout man from before, the one with a terrible accent and terrible grammar, was talking with Sanzo, after the monk had calmed down. Sanzo clenched his fists, and was about to make a crude protest until Iya-chan spoke up for him. "Sure, manager-san. It was Sanzo-san's fault that your former host… Er… Went bye-bye, so he must pay off his debts." She confirmed, shaking hands with the man. "Good, you be starting tomorrow, and sleeping in studio whole the week."  The manager confirmed. "Cool! We'll be staying in a studio, and I can share a room with Lilin-san and Yaone-san!" Iya-chan bounced in a hyper manner as the two exited the office. "Urusai. It is your fault that we have to stay here. You're the one that brought us here in the first place." Sanzo remarked. "Baka. You make it sound like it was a bad thing. And besides it's _your _fault. I'm not the one who needs anger management." She stuck out her tongue. 

"So we'll be having to stay here, then…" Homura spoke stoically. "Tch. All your fault, corrupted monk!" Gojyo sneered. The gun pointed to his head. "Gomen! Gomen!" He apologized. Hakkai sighed happily. (Hakkai fangirls, thank me later… This if for my best friend, who supposedly has a crush on Hakkai…) "I'll be going for a walk. See you later!" Hakkai smiled and walked out of the studio with Hakuryu on his tail. "I'm going to the bathroom!" Sanzo scowled, and made his way to the lavatory.  All the others… Just stood there… Arguing and talking. "Ey, Goku! Want to play tag? Ooh! A crown!" Lilin took notice of Goku's control device, and tipped it off. "Eh-" But before young Son Goku could speak, he collapsed to the ground. All eyes were now on Goku. He began to transform. His short, russet hair grew longer, and lengthier in less than a minute. A low growl came from his throat, and his curved ears became pointed. His eyes were now bloodshot red, with a spark of madness visible in them. "Grr…"  He growled and leapt up to his first victim, who, unfortunately for his fangirls (are there any?), was Gojyo, the horny water monster. "Oomph!" Some of his teeth chipped off as Goku gave him a swift kick to his face. Then he started to assault the others, who fought back with their best shots. But they lost anyway. Even Lilin and Homura's party. Sanzo-baka was still in the bathroom, doing what I guess would be defecating. (_I did not just write that! Gross!_) And Hakkai was now _happily_ strolling in the park, safe and away from demon-Goku's grasp. (Chiara-chan… You can thank me now! ^o^ No da!) So all of the people were currently in La-la land, except for a preteen girl with amber eyes (makes me sound like one of 'em _heretics_ doesn't it?) and short ebony locks.   

"Grr…" Goku growled again as he crept slowly towards Iya-chan. The young girl did nothing but stand, and she was smirking. "Grargh!" Goku shrieked and leaped up in the air, and was ready to swipe his claws at Iya-chan until… Goku stopped in mid-air. Iya-chan pulled out a ripe, yellow banana from her jeans pocket, and was holding it if front of the monkey demon. Goku magically brought his feet to the ground and started hopping around in an ecstatic manner, awaiting the yellow fruit. "You want this banana, don't you?" Iya-chan still had her confident smile on, waving the banana in front of Goku, and retreating it if he tried to snatch it. He nodded his head in an excited manner. "Then put this on, and I'll give you the banana, okay?" She said, carefully picking up the control device from the ground. He nodded again. She slowly handed him the banana, while positioning the crown and tiptoeing to reach, to place the device on his head. Goku, paying no mind to the child who was trying to put the device back on him, started to peel the banana slowly. Then Iya-chan dropped the crown on his head, and Goku, without letting go of the fruit, knelt down, as if in pain, as he began to transform into his human figure. Then he got up from his kneeling position, and stood up. "Why is everyone unconscious, Iya-chan?" He asked, a dazed look on his features. "Keh. Baka. You beat 'em up when you transformed." Iya-chan folded her arms. "I did?! Oh no, Sanzo will ban me from dinner tonight!" He exclaimed frantically. "Ooh, a banana!" His eyes widened in joy as he finally noticed the banana in his hand. 

A loud flush was heard, and Sanzo came out from the bathroom door with a newspaper tucked under his arm. Goku and Iya turned their heads to stare at him with a 'why in the world did you take so long in the bathroom?' look. Sanzo shrugged and placed the newspaper back in the magazine rack. "Oi, Sanzo! Why did it take ya so long in the la- lava…" Goku stuttered in trying to pronounce the latter. "… Lavatory." Iya-chan finished. "Loose Bowel, I guess…" Sanzo shrugged again and went up to their hotel room, which he shared with his party. (Goku and co.) Hakkai walked in the studio, with a happy grin plastered on his face. "Hey, what happened here Iya-chan? Goku? Where's Sanzo?" His smile faltered as he stared at the unconscious bodies sprawled all over the floor. "Kyuu?" Hakuryu squeaked in a confused manner. "Ehehehe… Well, let's just say that monkey boy _really _turned into a monkey a while ago okay? Oh, and speaking of the corrupted monk… Sanzo's in the hotel, 'ready." Iya-chan scratched her head. "Oh, okay… I suppose you mean that Goku transformed? Why didn't Sanzo end up cataleptic?" Hakkai rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Because he was… Er… Doing some business. I guess nature called, huh?" Iya chuckled slightly at the thought of Sanzo's loose bowel. "Well, I guess we need some cleaning up to do…" Hakkai sweatdropped as he gazed at the comatose people on the ground. "… Goku, can you help me here?" "Sure, just let me have some extra dinner tonight!"

Before dinner arrived, all the beaten people woke up from their stupor one by one. Dinner was served, and everyone shot death glares at Goku, who all did not realize that it was Lilin who was at fault. But Goku ate happily anyway, and took no notice of the hate radiating from the persons around him. Some squelchy, farty sounds could be heard from the monk occasionally, and the all ate quietly that evening, except Goku, who was devouring the provisions like a snake.  Even Iya-chan was silent. She was quite drowsy and tired. The day had been rather long. Her eyes were droopy. She snored and fell asleep on the table, banging her head on her clean, finished plate. "Ne? Iya-chan seems to be sleepy. I think I should sleep too. I'm done eating, anyway." Lilin stifled a yawn, and like the super-strength girl that she is, picket up Iya-chan with one hand, and slung her over her shoulder. "Eh, Lilin-sama! I'll come with you!" Yaone ran to them, and the three used the elevator, to go to their room. That left the rest there, still eating quietly. "So…" Gojyo muttered. "So what?" Homura grunted, picking on the potato salad on his plate. "So, Sanzo… When will the airing start?" Gojyo asked the monk. A wet fart came from the monk, and he replied, "Tomorrow. Noontime. Not like I have a choice, anyway." "So, did you eat beans for lunch, or what?" Kougaiji smirked. "Urusai. It's that horrid little tomboy's cooking that she served before we went here." Sanzo grumbled. "But Goku liked it." Hakkai smiled. "Duh. It's because he can eat anythin'! That little prat is _always_ hungry!" Zeon retorted with his mouth full, causing semi-chewed up pieces of roasted chicken to spray at the table. 

"Ey, Iya. Wake up." Lilin poked the girl with a stick. "Eh? What?" Iya-chan snorted, semi-awake. "You gotta change, first." She replied. "No prob." Iya-chan groggily walked to the private bathroom, with long, brisk steps. She took a shower, and changed from her white top and blue jeans to a pair of pajamas with Mokonaä print in them. "G'night, Lilin-san, Yaone-san." "'Night." "Goodnight, you two." They all slumped on their very own beds, and drifted fast asleep. 'Tomorrow is gonna be a big day tomorrow.' Iya-chan thought before she fell sound asleep.      

~ Owari of Chapter one! ~ 

**AN, very important!**

Hi, readers. Iya-chan here. The filming will start in the next chapter, but I like this chapter, anyway. This is my early attempt of writing, so please give me some suggestions for my improvement. Hey, readers, do you want to be a special guest star in this fic? If so, review. All of you! If one of you becomes a very frequent reviewer, I'll let you be in one chapter! Just ask me! That goes for the tenth reviewer, too. If you think you're the tenth reviewer, email me, so I can check on my reviews. The tenth reviewer will get to be in one chapter, too. No flames are allowed. Please, don't flame a kid… (Puppy dog eyes) Oh, and let me teach you a very simple math computation:

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© Neko Gal a.k.a. Iya-chan


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